Secret to Happiness
The secret to happiness is…
FREEDOM
and the secret to freedom is
COURAGE
27 March is Freedom Day in our country, so the word “freedom” is on everybody’s lips… also on mine. But I am thinking about PERSONAL FREEDOM!
The freedom to be ME, and not what others want me to be.
The freedom to like and dislike what I want to like and dislike, not what others think I should like and dislike.
The freedom to decide what I feel like eating, doing, wearing, not what others tell me to eat, do and wear.
The freedom to honour my own desires, and not only the desires of others.
The freedom to say how I feel, and not always keep quiet for the sake of harmony.
The freedom to live without guilt!
The freedom to be a FREE adult!
So if it is our desire to live as a free adult, why are we not? Why do we allow others to dictate to us, decide for us, …and then we end up feeling terrible? Yes, of course we do not want THEM to feel bad, so it’s just easier to give in. Or do we perhaps lack the COURAGE to use the shortest, yet most scary word in
the dictionary? “NO”.
“No thank you, I prefer to eat fish and not meat.”
“No, I don’t like yellow, so I will rather wear a blue top.”
“No, I cannot help you with the back log of your work.”
“No, I am not prepared to be dishonest.”
“No, I am not comfortable to join you at the bar.”
Ordinary sentences, and yet we cannot get ourselves to utter them.
They say:
*No is a complete sentence.
*Don’t say maybe if you want to say no.
*Simplify your life. Learn to say no.
*Learn to say ‘no’ without explaining yourself.
*Saying no can be the ultimate self-care.
Yeah right! All very noble quotes. It’s still easier said than done.
Let me tell you why I think it is so difficult – it’s our mindset, how we look at it, how we
perceive it:
1. “I first need to consider the emotions of the other person before I say anything.”
2. “NO has such a negative meaning – rejection, selfishness and being unkind.”
3. “The needs and desires of others come first, that is unselfish”.
4. “What if my ‘no’ response causes suffering? People do not deserve that.”
5. “What makes me so important and worthy to say ‘no’?”
If you resonate with any of the above, I can almost guarantee that you have a kind heart! And maybe, at times, you feel that your kindness became your burden. “If only I could say ‘no’”.
COURAGE IS THE SECRET TO FREEDOM! AND FREEDOM IS NOT THE ABILITY TO SAY YES, BUT THE ABILITY TO SAY NO!
I know exactly how it feels when your heart screams ‘no’ and your head says ‘yes’! I have been completely overburdened by all my ‘yes’ answers…and I don’t want you to suffer an emotional meltdown as I did. So let me help you and show you how to say ‘no’!
Allow me to teach you COURAGE.